The Witchfinder reviews another text game – this time by the Milo Yiannopoulos of Breitbart. All reviews are strictly in accordance with Matthew Hopkins News Game Review Guidelines.
Journalism Quest – Milo Yiannopoulos’ debut game is written with twine, just like Depression Quest except, less, well, depressing.
This is a review of a short game – more of a gamelet, by Milo Yiannopoulos. The reason for the review is not to pretend the product is the next Mass Effect 3 but instead because the comparison with Zoe Quinn’s effort, Depression Quest (DQ – previously reviewed 27%) is instructive in terms of the wider game industry debate. Needless to say, journalism Quest scores higher than DQ.
‘Journalism Quest‘ (JQ) is a choose-your-own-adventure style game, written using Twine – a popular engine for writing non-linear games of that type. Competitors other than DQ include ‘Weird City Interloper’, ‘Progression‘ and ‘Beneath Floes‘.
Graphics – 16 / 25
Journalism Quest features some truly evocative art – this is clearly not a children’s game as it includes pictures too horrible, too terrifying for young ones. Ben Kuchera? Ben Kuchera??? Terrifying. Journalism Quest also features images of awe such as Milo Yiannopoulos’ hair.
Milo Yiannopoulos’ hair is famous for its expressive power and radiance. The emotional impact of this game’s graphics cannot be overstated.
Your author has previous stated that in accordance with the guidelines a pure text game can only ever reach 6 for graphics, and a game with spectacular still graphics could reach 10. Journalism quest has some slight animation, (e.g. the colour changing titles) and so is eligible for higher marks. Given the exceptionally evocative pictures, JQ weighs in at the lower end of the ‘good’ range, getting 16. To reach higher it would need proper 3D graphics or something ground-breaking, which is generally out of reach of a Twine game.
Sound – 16 / 25
Like DQ, this game only features one track. However, it is cheerful and lifts the spirits unlike DQ which puts one in a funereal frame of mind. Playing the game makes this reviewer feel happy. The game gets 16 for sound – again at the lower end of ‘good’. To score higher, the game would need more tracks or additional effects, for example chilling music when Ben Kuchera’s picture is on the screen.
Gameplay – 16 / 25
This game, unlike DQ, features only a handful of questions. However it is free and they are fun, unlike DQ which is miserable. The lower end of good again, but only because it is free. If I was paying I would want more content. Way more content.
Ease of Use – 15 / 25
The game has no innovative ease-of-use features whatsoever – however unlike DQ it has not glitches. So the top end of average. No bugs but no exceptional stand out features.
Subtotal – 63 / 100
Adjustment +10
MHN guidelines allow a + / – 10 adjustment for the reviewer’s impression. I found this game fun. It made me laugh. It was free. It was quick. Did I mention it was free? Vastly shorter than DQ but vastly more enjoyable. I have given an adjustment of +10.
Final Score – 73 / 100
Hilarious but short. Vastly less content than DQ, but still an immeasurably better game, especially for the price of 0 (and no begging donation / Patreon requests).
