Category Archives: Game Reviews

PC Game Preview – Empyrion: Galactic Survival

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I have been taking a month or so off blogging, relaxing and spending some time gaming. I decided to post a game preview of Empyrion: Galactic survival. Empyrion is a lot like science fiction Minecraft with way, way better graphics and technology. This is a preview so ratings are subject to change.

The story of Empyrion is simple. The player is a survivor of a spaceship disaster in an unknown part of space, crashing to the surface of a planet in an escape pod carrying minimal survival equipment. Even so, said equipment includes a ‘survival constructor’, basically a small nanotech cornucopia engine that can produce anything with the right raw materials.

EmpyrionReviewBase

My base in Empyrion seen from a kilometre away. Click for full size.

By mining ores and gathering resources, the player can build a base along larger constructors capable of producing more sophisticated output. Eventually the player can produce ground vehicles in the form of hovercraft, small space vehicles and capital vessels in order to progress through the story (which has not yet been implemented).

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Joshua Perry of King Dinosaur Games is “2 Handsome” for That Which Sleeps

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The Kickstarter for vapourware indie PC game “That Which Sleeps” allegedly to be published by King Dinosaur Games (KDG), is infamous for the large amount of money taken and the absence of delivery. As I reported in my article, “Those Who Wait”, the project is years overdue. In “King Dinosaur Games Partners Split” I recounted how the partnership had split, with many of their statements (by which they had obtained monies) exposed as flat out lies. Now it appears that KDG’s sole remaining partner Joshua Perry is connected to another, very similar overdue Kickstarter – “Stay Out of My Dungeon” by 2 Handsome Games.

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The glossy promotional video for, “Stay Out of my Dungeon”.

Back in 2012, long before “That Which Sleeps” was a thing, King Dinosaur Games made the following Tweet (still here, archived here) –

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King Dinosaur Games considered using the “2 Handsome Guys” name instead. Click for full size.

In fact, unknown until now, whilst “That Which Sleeps” languished in development limbo Joshua Perry was attempting another failed Kickstarter called, “Ready Check” (archive here) under the “2 Handsome Guys” brand. He is the registered owner of the website http://www.2handsomegames.com/ and has been since its inception.

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King Dinosaur Games Partners Split as their Lies are Exposed

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JoshAndJosephSplit

Joseph Vivolo has split from King Dinosaur Games, the duo he founded with Joshua Perry, blaming Josh for the project’s apparent failure. He should not get off that lightly.

Two years ago, on 22nd October 2014, I was one of 4,689 backers of That Which Sleeps. I am also one of only two original backers to get their money back. Early in development, it soon became apparent to me that the authors had made untruthful statements in their attempts to secure funding. Now the founders have split and all their deceptions have come to light.

The detailed and extremely well presented Kickstarter opened in late 2014. It had a series of well presented videos that appeared to show a 2D strategy game, well underway, on a map using cheap and scrappy placeholder art. All the developers wanted was a little cash, $12,000 for art to complete the game.

The game, we were told, was nearly done –

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A note in the ‘Story’ section of the ‘That Which Sleeps’ Kickstarter.

According to the publicity material there was a “working game” and beta was promised for December 2014. Backers would receive a scenario viewer immediately after the project was backed.

All lies.

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Obscure Game Developer Joe Wintergreen of Impromptu Games Will Not Hire ‘GamerGate Weirdo’s, Guaranteeing Continued Obscurity and Failure

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The Witchfinder identifies another developer thoughtlessly willing to alienate his customers with ignorant and bigoted opinions about #GamerGate and its supporters.

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Joe Wintergreen mouths off ignorantly. This is not the way to sell games, or have a career in the games industry. Click for full size.

Today I learnt about some games I had never heard of before. Impromptu Games developer Joe Wintergreen is the proud author of Half Life 2 mod – ‘Shotgun Sunrise’ and its derivative, ‘Vroom!’ a racing game. I am not sure if modifying a first person shooter into a slightly different first person shooter is that great an accomplishment, but Shotgun Sunrise gets a just-above-mediocre 7.3 from the ModDB Community.

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That Which Sleeps – Still No Release. Time to Report them to the FTC

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The inevitable denouement of ‘That Which Sleeps’. Your author asks readers to report King Dinosaur Games to the Federal Trade Commission.

Nearly 18 months to the day, on 22/10/2014, I paid $50 into the Kickstarter for proposed Indie game ‘That Which Sleeps’. The game sounded appealing and the developers King Dinosaur Games (Joseph Vivolo and Joshua Perry) said it was almost written. Many were convinced and backers paid $85,593 into the Kickstarter against a $12,000 goal.

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A note in the ‘Story’ section of the ‘That Which Sleeps’ Kickstarter.

The developers promised a game in two months. A year later, after many delays, I wrote the blog post, ‘Those Who Wait’. After sending the developers the draft and a threat of a report to the FTC, they refunded the money whilst I slept and excluded myself and another dissenter from their forums.

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Joseph Vivola and Joshua Perry better keep their promises.

Now, 18 months since backers were promised a game, 16 months after the proposed beta release, the developers claim to be out of money.

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Fenicks (Joseph Vivolo) claims the King Dinosaur Games team are out of money. Your author says ‘show us the accounts’. Click for full size.

Having had a full refund, your author has no claim against King Dinosaur Games. However there were thousands of other backers. Your author strongly suggests they ask for the developers to account for the money – and if they cannot produce accounts backed by bank statements then backers should report them to the FTC.

The US Federal Trade Commission took legal action against the developer of another Lovecraftian themed game, “The Doom that Came to Atlantic City” in very similar circumstances in 2015. That Kickstarter too had a great campaign, convincing mockups of the final product and massively exceeded its goals. It turned out the developer had in fact spent most of the money on himself.

Kickstarter backers who have not received a refund can contact the FTC here.

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PC Game Review – Siege of Dragonspear DLC by Beamdog Studios

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The Witchfinder plays and investigates the controversial add-on, ‘Siege of Dragonspear’, released at the end of March 2016 for well-loved classic roleplaying game Baldur’s Gate. Your author is horrified to discover appalling racism in the troubled product written by so-called ‘progressive’ Amber Scott, from Beamdog Studios. The game has been reviewed in accordance with the MHN Game Review Guidelines.

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Refugees smell, according to Beamdog Studios. In Siege of Dragonspear your character is physically prevented from walking upstairs in a building by the ‘odor’ of refugees, despite having adventured in the Baldur’s Gate sewers a few chapters previously. Apparently refugees literally smell worse than sewers in Amber Scott’s world. (Click for full size).

Conservative and neutral writers often satirise the darkly amusing far-left trait of not wanting to socialise with the ‘oppressed’ minority groups they purport to defend. Professor Thomas Sowell, an American of African descent and well respected Conservative academic, describes the recipients of this patronising support as ‘mascots’. ‘Right on’ hard left wingers are often shown to have condescending attitudes, patronising when they intend to help – help they offer whether or not it is wanted. These traits are more than evident in Siege of Dragonspear.

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That Which Sleeps Fandom Becomes Near-Literal Cult As Delays Continue

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Way back in 2014 I spent $50 on a Kickstarter for a promising looking Indie Game called ‘That Which Sleeps’. Per my previous coverage, (1) the (delayed) game is supposedly an ‘evil-returning-god’ simulator where the player manipulates a living world to prepare for their return. The game had a great Kickstarter but since then developers have consistently failed to keep their promises. The game promised to beta in December 2014 yet a year on, 31st December 2015, no beta has been released. (2) On protesting and suggesting contact with the Federal Trade Commission (the US equivalent of Trading Standards in the UK) in October 2015, your author and others received refunds and were removed from the game forums.

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‘That Which Sleeps’ gameplay video. Picture used for the purposes of criticism and review. There has been no beta and this is the second of four promised videos. The other two have not been released. Click for full size.

I do not intend to fully recap the developers’ discourtesy, lack of professionalism or broken promises here. Readers are advised to refer to my previous articles. The high points are that during the Kickstarter the developers claimed that the project was low risk because much of the game was already written. Kickstarter materials stated, “We have a working game” and also that a scenario viewer was complete and ready to release directly after the campaign, which ended in October 2014.

Beta was promised for December 2014, then March 2015 and it is now the 31st December 2015, New Year’s Eve. The supposedly working game is now in its second chronological year of post Kickstarter development. The scenario viewer has never been released although a partially functional map editor has been. After increasingly acrimonious forum posts from backers in October 2015, on 12/10/2015 developer Josh Perry promised some gameplay videos. There were to be three released at one week intervals showing the early, mid and late games. So far only one has been released.

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Journalism Quest – Milo Yiannopoulos’ Debut Game Reviewed!

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The Witchfinder reviews another text game – this time by the Milo Yiannopoulos of Breitbart. All reviews are strictly in accordance with Matthew Hopkins News Game Review Guidelines.

JournalismQuestTitles

Journalism Quest – Milo Yiannopoulos’ debut game is written with twine, just like Depression Quest except, less, well, depressing.

This is a review of a short game – more of a gamelet, by Milo Yiannopoulos. The reason for the review is not to pretend the product is the next Mass Effect 3 but instead because the comparison with Zoe Quinn’s effort, Depression Quest (DQ – previously reviewed 27%) is instructive in terms of the wider game industry debate. Needless to say, journalism Quest scores higher than DQ.

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Those Who Wait

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Last year, the Kickstarter Game ‘That Which Sleeps’ was announced. A well presented publicity and video campaign made for a Kickstarter that netted over $85,000 from backers on an initial $12,000 goal. Release of the beta was originally promised for December 2014. It is now a year since the product was funded on 22/10/2014 and backers have yet to see even a video of the game being played. ‘That Which Sleeps’ still slumbers fitfully and there is only the lurking, eldritch horror of … Those Who Wait.

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King Dinosaur Games recently released a video showing the scenario selection screen for their game. The beautiful, revamped, scenario selections screen has come a long way since Kickstarter. However backers were told to expect a playable beta in December 2014 – it is now October 2015. This video, whilst well presented, shows nothing but a revised version of functionality customers have seen before. Click for full size.

I have a rule in relation to Kickstarters. It is a very simple rule. I will only back a game if it has a playable demo I have played and liked or the developers have previously released a game I enjoyed. I have only broken this rule once – when I backed Joseph Vivolo and Joshua Perry, trading as King Dinosaur Games, and put down $50 to back the Kickstarter for That Which Sleeps.

That Which Sleeps was intended to be a kind of ‘ancient evil simulator’. The player would control one of a number of slumbering villains locked away eons ago. As they stir towards full wakefulness they gather their powers like Sauron from the Lord of the Rings. Like Sauron the players must work in the shadows to avoid discovery whilst they are still weak lest the world unites against them, using agents and subtle manipulation.

A lot of development work had allegedly been done and from 29/08/2014 until 08/10/2014, King Dinosaur Games released 6 videos – just over one a week [1], [2], [3], [4], [5] and [6]. The videos portrayed a game nearing completion – and that was how Josh and Joseph represented it. They expressly stated they had a working game –

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Working Together – How Conservatives and #GamerGate Can Find Common Ground With Some Feminists

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BoodleOops

Academic Becca Reilly-Cooper comments on female reproductive biology being relevant to feminism. Via Twitter/BoodleOops.

All movements have their extremists and their moderates. In light of the ongoing Block Bot debacle, the Witchfinder identifies common ground with some feminists who have been subject to harassment by the same perpetrators.

Unsurprisingly, your author has spent considerable time recently searching online for credible individuals aggrieved with the Block Bot. Whilst trawling I encountered a public spat between a woman called @BoodleOops, (Academic Becca Reilly-Cooper) and some unsavoury SJW types loosely associated with The Block Bot. She was BLOCKED. BLOCKED I tell you. They were calling her a TERF. Your author had no idea what a TERF is but assumed from the lady’s enemies she was probably doing something virtuous. So he looked up the term ‘TERF’.

It is like this … As we all know, SJW (supposedly Social Justice Warrior) may as well stand for ‘Silencing Journalists and Women’. TERF is an acronym invented by SJWs for oppressing women. It stands for ‘Trans-Exclusionary-Radical-Feminists’ and is yet another example of prolixity by the hard left trying to label reasonable behaviour as in some way wrong. TERF is a slur.

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